A bird pooped on my head yesterday. For real. I'm not joking. Often on my lunch breaks and especially if the weather is nice I will take a little stroll through the nearby neighborhoods in the historic districts. I love those old houses, and it gives me a chance to kind of escape the daily grind. Yesterday I was walking down Short St about a block past Jefferson when I felt something hit me right on top of the head. And it felt considerably large. Naturally I was rather startled and for a second wasn't quite sure what to do. Nothing had ever hit me in the head while I was walking before. Also I wasn't quite sure if it was bird poop or perhaps a very big bug. My mind raced. Do I reach up and touch to feel what had hit me? I certainly didn't want to touch bird poop but what if it was the very big bug. I didn't want a bug in my hair and what if it could sting? After several seconds of standing frozen in the street, my eyes wide with fear, I decided to reach up and see what the heck had happened. I was kind of hoping for the bug. When I reached up and felt my head I felt something wet. Immediately I knew.
I'm not sure why now, but I had used both hands. I brought them both back down to see black and white bird poo. There was even a berry. It was disgusting. I felt disgusting. I think it must have been a pretty big bird. I looked around to see if any one had witnessed this catastrophe. There wasn't a single soul around me. For several seconds I stared at the bird poo on my hands. I think I was kind of in shock. Now what do I do? I happened to have my jacket with me. The weather has been pretty yucky lately so I had brought it just in case, but it was such a nice day I had tied it around my waist. Nice day? I used the sleeve of the jacket to clean up as much as the bird poo as I could off my head and hands until I could get to a bathroom. I balled the jacket up around the used sleeve and put it under my arm. I then proceeded back to work walking a little like Frankenstein with my contaminated hands outstretched before me but my elbows bent.
I had to walk back down Short St to Broadway and then to Main to reach my building. I really didn't want to walk right through downtown but was trying to reach the bathroom as quickly as possible. I don't
think anyone saw the bird poo on my head. I didn't hear any snickering behind me. Using my elbows to open doors and press the elevator buttons I finally got to the bathroom and began trying to clean up the mess. One of my coworkers came into the bathroom, and I explained to her what had happened. She was was so incredibly sweet and helped me to clean it up. We both had a good laugh about it. I really,
really wanted to go home but I just balled my hair up using a rubber band until I could wash it. I only had a couple of hours left. I could make it. My scalp was crawling by the time I got home.
At home I googled "birds pooping on head" and "wives tales." My mother's side of the family is fairly superstitious. We're always knocking on wood and interpreting dreams. I found some websites that do say a year of good luck will follow being pooped on the head by a bird. That would be nice, but I have a hunch that that is just something people who have been pooped on the head by a bird tell themselves to make themselves feel better. I think I'm going to go wash my hair again.
ps I'm sorry I don't have any photos for this blog, but I think you get the idea.
Congratulations Phil!
